Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Does She make me look fat?

My husband is convinced that what has never happened to him in his youth will happen now. Thanks to me. He is convinced that he will get smacked by some indignant woman or her jealous husband...all because of me. When ever we pass a woman who seems like she could be my size, I ask him.. Do I look like her? The first few times, my husband thought I was hoping to find my doppelganger ( lookalike) but after many years of marriage, he has begun to correctly interpret it as  " Am I as fat?"  And even if he is not looking in that direction, he is forced to look at the woman in question! More often than not I do not get a straight answer, so the question seems a futile one. Yet I cannot resist asking that question.

  What about the mirrors in your home, you ask. Well, I can never see myself from all angles in a mirror.. definitely not in the way that I can see others. There is also photographs, you say. But you see, I am told that the camera adds pounds to you in a picture and for a person whom even every gram counts ( not when going into the mouth though :(!, it is hard to reconcile those pounds. Also with pictures, I am often tempted to blame it all on the camera. So to get some perspective, that question I ask is very important.

For all those men who get thrown off with this question, let me tell you, we women ask this question hoping to be told that we are not as fat. We crave that reassurance, which is why you'll never see us asking this question when we see some one like Aishwarya Rai or her ilk. One friend confessed that she makes sure she picks women who leave no room for doubt, as she does not want to confuse her husband. "Even then he takes his own time answering and even replies with a shrug on occasion", she says dejectedly

I am not sure if men can identify with this eternal question, but if you have ever wanted to say the three words that will send your woman into transports of joy and make her your slave for life, just answer the question with an emphatic  "No, you're not!"

3 comments:

  1. I know....that's the most....and the only acceptable answer to the question...the sooner the guys would learn it, the better it would be for them...sigh

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  2. sigh, it is .. till they learn! :)

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  3. Lol, I do the same! ;) And the L & M tells me too, that he will get smacked by an irate woman one of these days because of me! ;)

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